Christians are straight up FREAKS
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
