I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize