so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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