When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
