ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
