Don't make out with my wife yet
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
But theres a keg here and me gusta
When did angry sex become our thing?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
