yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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