Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
