like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
