farters have to be the big spoon...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
