I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
