2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
