she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
