Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Someone shattered a urinal.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
