im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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