non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
