haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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