so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
