I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
