Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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