Just cropdusted the office
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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