Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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