the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
