id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
