If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
