jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
