Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
