i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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