im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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