suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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