why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
