Three words: puerto rican gang bang
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
