1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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