Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
