batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize