i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
