I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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