Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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