Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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