No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
