Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
