Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize