Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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