I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
