When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
