Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize