I bet he comes in French.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
