doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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