i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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