Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
