I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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