I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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