I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
