You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
