Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
