That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
