He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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