i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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