Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
