yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize