I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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