office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
