this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
