Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
