Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
