Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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