i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
