when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
