This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize