I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
