My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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